For you my dear

I want to be the bridesmaid at your wedding and the lawyer at your divorce. If you ever get hurt we will sue that sorry bastard for every last penny he has. Then we will take a nice trip to Tawnya Mexico and win the lottery. Maybe you will even get a few people pregnant on one of our crazy nights. I cant wait for the little baby I am pregnant with from you to grow up and become a homosexual actor on the many Broadway shows I will produce. After your fifth divorce and the death of my late husband by a mysterious case of bad peas and walnuts we will live together in Utah watching our dwarf farm begin to take over the world. When you are bald and I am 10,000 Lbs. We will find the fountain of youth and go for a leisurely swim. Little do we know that the magic whatwhata fly infests that water and we turn blue. After are many plastic surgery's we travel to Africa to find my real father. Surely these lips can not be those of my so called “dad”. We meet him and become on of the Rwooka tribe and live in the village being the blue protectors. After the blue wears off we have a mild falling out and you cut off my ear. No matter, I have two. Finally we decided that the jungle life is not for us and move to California on our personal beach. Ten years later, due to global warming, California falls off the face of the earth and we quickly discover Atlantis, which looks oddly like Detroit. We clean it up and give birth to many fish humans. Sadly your 20th ate one of your toes. We live underwater for the rest of our immortal lives which actually only lasts 50 more years and it is the best time we ever had.