Saturday, November 13, 2010

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Just liked this:

1.When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad. 
2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you. 
3. When you smile, I will know you finally got laid. 
4. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get. 
5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining. 
6. When you are confused, I will use little words. 
7. When you are sick, stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have. 
8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass and then think about helping your dumbass up. 

Friday, October 15, 2010

For you my dear

I want to be the bridesmaid at your wedding and the lawyer at your divorce. If you ever get hurt we will sue that sorry bastard for every last penny he has. Then we will take a nice trip to Tawnya Mexico and win the lottery. Maybe you will even get a few people pregnant on one of our crazy nights. I cant wait for the little baby I am pregnant with from you to grow up and become a homosexual actor on the many Broadway shows I will produce. After your fifth divorce and the death of my late husband by a mysterious case of bad peas and walnuts we will live together in Utah watching our dwarf farm begin to take over the world. When you are bald and I am 10,000 Lbs. We will find the fountain of youth and go for a leisurely swim. Little do we know that the magic whatwhata fly infests that water and we turn blue. After are many plastic surgery's we travel to Africa to find my real father. Surely these lips can not be those of my so called “dad”. We meet him and become on of the Rwooka tribe and live in the village being the blue protectors. After the blue wears off we have a mild falling out and you cut off my ear. No matter, I have two. Finally we decided that the jungle life is not for us and move to California on our personal beach. Ten years later, due to global warming, California falls off the face of the earth and we quickly discover Atlantis, which looks oddly like Detroit. We clean it up and give birth to many fish humans. Sadly your 20th ate one of your toes. We live underwater for the rest of our immortal lives which actually only lasts 50 more years and it is the best time we ever had.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Oh the Umbro

The true mean of the Umbro according to Urban Dictionary is The act of dry humping your partner until climax, typically while wearing soft clothing such as Umbro shorts.
I havent a clue why i named my school this it just seems fitting.
Anyway the Umbro has been hell this week. Tomorrow is a Mental Health day, which means no school. I dont think i could deal with much more of this. My cheating bastard of an ex Boyfriend is a douche bag and doesnt even have the balls to apologize. That is kinda why i was angry a few nights ago. ANYWAY
i just had a coffee and life got much better. I have to take my brother to Mc Donalds because he is trying to win 1,000,000 in this monoply game. Wish him luck because i get half :)

Friday, October 8, 2010

Fuck homecoming.

That basically sums up how i feel right now. Had no date got a date canceled that date got a new one. Its been a rough day.